Archive for December, 2009

Alright folks, I normally abhor, loathe, and utterly detest any form of social conformity (tis the artist talking who prefers the margins versus the social center). I will make an exception though and jump on the bandwagon for one and only one notable reason:

2009 royally sucked. I MEAN IT REALLY TRULY DEEPLY UTTERLY AND PROFOUNDLY SUCKED! *Phew* there got that one out. So, I will join the plethora of individuals cheering and rejoicing as 2010 springs forth.
In celebration of the new year, I hereby present my top New Year’s resolutions:

1) Splurge on books! After I submit my last four *&^%$$ applications to UK MA programs, I fully intend to visit every half-priced old bookstore in this town and load up on more books than one could possibly fathom. My target: the remaining literary classics I haven’t read, works in social theory and philosophy (recommendations are of course welcome and I will likely write another post/facebook note to that effect), and of course other miscellaneous titles I’ve always wanted to read but never found the time. In other words, I’ve been intellectually deprived and crave a lengthy journey of good-reads, must-reads, and titles that are most importantly dubbed, who the fuck cares? It’s non-academic reading!

2) The all time New Year’s classic: lose fifteen pounds or drop 1-2 dress sizes. A short story about the bane of my existence: the freshman fifteen ended up turning into the sophomore twenty and finally concluded with the whopping resounding undergraduate 30. My response: Oh shit. I have now become fucking Bridget Jones. Can’t live up to the title without blogging about a necessary weight loss regimen right? Now I have to find a preferred form of exercise: jogging (dull), speed walking (expected), weight lifting at the gym (seriously?)  So, I settled on either ice skating, dance, and/or aerobics. I have to preserve some form of creativity here folks….

3) Write a novel that is inspired by true stories but is spinned into a grand work of fiction. Let’s face it, some of my life experiences are, as one anonymous friend put it, “Damn that’s shit you just can’t make up.” I wholeheartedly agree. Life’s a bitch folks, might as well have the last laugh if you can.

4) Achieve greater balance in all matters. This past year, my work/home/social life balance is illustrated (and brilliantly captured I might add) by the following mathematic depiction of inequalities:

Work   (greater than and most certainly not equal to)  >    social life (indicated by number of happy hour events attended)    >   home life

Oh…wait a minute. Scratch that. Here’s the more accurate formula:

[Work + grad school apps (squared)] (cubed) >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> social life > home life.

Yep, that’s about right.

5) Attack the GRE next year with a fucking vengeance. ETS I’m going Russell Crowe on your ass.

6) Perform a certain number of completely random, neurotic, and utterly absurd acts. For those of you who requested I dance on tables (yes you know who you are), that’s a definite no. On that note, what the hell were ya’all thinking? You’re pretty disturbed if you ask me. Anyhoo, perhaps cartwheels on the national mall are in order, cartwheels in front of the Lincoln Memorial, perhaps even cartwheels from one quadrant in DC in a diametric fashion to another…. Ok, I’m running out of ideas. Feel free to email me with some.

7) Blog more, yes definitely blog more 🙂


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